Ex-Girlfriend

Ex-Girlfriend

Aright so I’m goin to the Bourgeois Pig in a minute to meet my ex-girlfriend and even tho it was like eight years ago that we dated it still is nevertheless my ex-girlfriend. And I gotta say… I still really wanna fuck her. And I’m not going into this...
Jailbait Gypsy

Jailbait Gypsy

So I go to the bourgeois pig, that’s my spot, to write my book, or edit it, rather, for the fifth time so that I can finally fucking finish this shit that I’ve been working on for five years… and so I walk into the cafe and say hi to the barista dude...

Tinder, Part II

Okay… So remember that Asian chick I was talkin about?  In Tinder Part I?  The girl that showed up to my apartment looking way better than her pics lookin slutty as hell and literally wanted to just go down on me pretty immediately after walking through the door...
Tinder

Tinder

Look I’m on Tinder. It’s a good pastime. I have striking conversations every now and then. I’ve only ever went out with one chick from it- wait. Two. I lied. And she was- shit. Three. I went out with Three. Two of em were ehhhh but one of them.. She...
The Day I Gave Ryan Gosling My Autograph

The Day I Gave Ryan Gosling My Autograph

So Ryan Gosling is sitting next to me at the Dresden, a 1950’s styled piano bar in LA, with a group of friends enjoying some cocktails and famous conversation. Some chick walks up to his table, mid-adjective, and stands there hovering over he and his friend, who seem...