WELCOME TO LOCKED UP
I kept getting locked up. But not for too long… wait. What am I saying? I spent two years locked up in Georgia. Anyway- I’ve been to like a million small jails in a billion tiny towns and I’m probably the only drug dealer that NEVER went to jail for dealing drugs BUT DID go to jail for speeding. Yeah… this is all in my book, but here… Indulge yourself for a moment and live in my life. I’m willing to bet you can relate somewhere along the lines in these stories.
World Record Road Trip – Gilbert
ROAD TRIP STANDSTILL -GILBERT, ARIZONA JULY 7, 2016, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. The day is at least 120 degrees and the night is somewhere around 110. I gotta go get new tires and get my oil changed and buy a camera and get ready to sleep in the back of my car for…...
Big Chuck
I was repping this musician chick that fuckin sucked a while back. Why? Cause her dad, Big Chuck, was rich and he talked me into it with money. One day I say let’s do a big party and make her famous Big Chuck. He says whattaya have in mind. I say gimme like 100k and...
My Guinness World Record Road Trip
The Road Trip: Los Angeles, California June something, 2016 The road trip all started with Tony Robbins. I downloaded his book Awaken the Giant Within on Audible and listened to it in two hours while my then-girlfriend was finishing her last shift at the café she used...
One Day In The Life of NOT Becoming Famous on Social Media
One day, I was on my way to my friend Shannon's surprise 30th bday party in downtown LA... ...but before I got there, I walked into this cafe to grab a coffee. That's when I saw this girl with her sketchpad out. She had this sketch of James Dean in front of her--I...
Should I Take The Mussels? | Funny Tinder Stories
One of My Many Tinder Stories... I'm on the phone with some chick I met on Tinder. At some point of our conversation, she tells me that one time, some dude came on her hair at a nightclub 'at the speed of cum'. I don't know what that meant, but I knew what had to be...
Skinny Dipping With Shrinkage
Skinny Dipping Stories in Argentina It all started when Tan (some Canadian chick I met in the bunk above me in Buenos Aires at some hostel) and I met up again in the city of Mendoza and decided to look for some adventure. Building a repertoire of skinny dipping...
Traveling Patagonia in Search of Mandy
If you're thinking about traveling Patagonia, it's worth it to know Mandy... Cause she's everywhere. Read PART THREE here before you proceed... TIME: I don't know PLACE: Chalten, Argentina [WHATSAPP]: Eyo, whattayou doin today? Nada, told Mandy I'd paint her a sign....
Travel Stories: Traveling Patagonia in Search of Mandy
If you’re thinking about traveling to Patagonia, it’s worth it to know how to get here… Read PART TWO here before you proceed… TIME: I don't know PLACE: Chalten, Argentina I see some girl writing in her journal sitting on the cracked concrete of the bus terminal in El...
PART TWO: Here’s What Happened When I Went From Montevideo to Buenos Aires By Boat
If you’re thinking about traveling to Buenos Aires from Montevideo, it’s worth it to know about this chick in Uruguay real quick. Read PART ONE here before you proceed… TIME: I don't know PLACE: Buenos Aires, Argentina So I woke up at 5am and cleaned the Airbnb I was...
Epic Journey in South America, Part 1: Where’s The MAC-doh-NALDS?
The Epic Journey To South America Begins With Mac-Dohnalds. TIME: I don't know PLACE: Montevideo, Uruguay So I knew I had to catch the bus from the airport in Montevideo to where I was gonna meet Sofi, the girl I had a small love affair with in Madrid. We were gonna...