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I’m about to turn 31 and just unleashed Scrambled Gregs.

When I JUST turned 30 I launched Carpe Noctis, a late-night theatre/ vaudeville/ burlesque festival.

When I was 29 I started a PR Firm, Black Apple International.

When I was 28 I produced a movie starring Nelson Mandela, Sidney Poitier & Dennis Haysbert.

When I was 27 I moved to LA.

When I was 26 I started a rolling paper company, Tweed, & traveled all over the country selling to local head shops out of the trunk of my car (and i don’t smoke.)

When I was 25 I promoted 50 concerts all over the country.

When I was 24 I started Black Apple, at the time it was a music agency.

When I was 23 I produced 143 one-act plays in NYC.

When I was 22 I was repped by William Morris and acted in the theatre.

When I was 21 I made pizzas at Kitchen Kabaret in Long Island.

When I was 20 I moved back to Queens from Boulder, Colorado.

When I was 19 I worked at a tea house in Boulder.

When I was 18 I studied Northern Mantis Kung Fu.

When I was 17 I took a 53-hour bus ride from Miami to Denver & got my GED.

When I was 16 I hitchhiked all over the country & performed on the street for money.

When I was 15 I ran away from a bootcamp in northern Georgia after 23 months.

When I was 14 I was kicked out of high school in NY & relocated to Opelousas Louisiana.

When I was 13 I became the most popular kid in school.

When I was 12 I was the biggest loser in Long Island.

When I was 11 I hung out in the projects & stole candy from 7-11

When I was 10 I loved skateboarding.

When I was 9 I became addicted to club soda.

When I was 8 my family moved from a condo to a house.

When I was 7 I told my first grade teacher I spoke Spanish. But i didn’t. I was speaking gibberish.

When I was 6 I got the chicken pox.

When I was 5 I made friends with my neighbor, a Persian kid, and pretended to speak Farsi with him.

When I was 4 I wrote my first book.

When I was 3 I passed my series 7.

When I was 2 I hiked the Pacific Crest Trail.

When I was 1 I was a world famous hand model.

That’s how I got to where I am now.

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