WELCOME TO SHORT STORY SNIPPETS

Sometimes there’s nothing left to describe an odd slice of life other than a ‘snippet’.  Sometimes days become these really engraved memories, but after awhile, you realize it’s just another goddam snippet in the history of your brain.  Anyway- these stories range from being offensive to REALLY offensive, but if you got the stomach, eat up.  Or if you want the WHOLE shebang, here is the book version of this blog.  Aright, scroll down.

Stealing Books

Stealing Books

I was spare changing on Thayer street outside of the Brown University Bookstore and had the sudden urge to read Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck. I stole a book from that store roughly... Hmmm... A couple times per week.  My backpack was full of books, fine...

SSSTTTEEELLLLLLAAAAAAA!!!!!

SSSTTTEEELLLLLLAAAAAAA!!!!!

I threw the dinner table over and finished that scene from A Streetcar Named Desire where Stanley flips his lid at Blanche for the first time at the dinner table. It was an intense scene and i had teared and grabbed my wife's tits during the scene in front of the...

THE MILK STORY

THE MILK STORY

So I'm at this bar in Hell's Kitchen with my co-star of a play I was performing in at the time called Tape, by Stephen Belber, when Duane, my co-star, says in a thick New York accent (even though he's from Rhode Island) Don't worry. I'll take care uvit. Take care of...

Stay With Me Just ONE More Night

Stay With Me Just ONE More Night

“Stay just one more night” Lucy, the Ivy-League girl I fell in love with that one night I was sitting on my Indian-print blanket asking strangers for money with my witty signs 'need money for beer pot and hookers', the girl I was tellin you about yesterday, would say...

I Met This Ivy League Chick When I Was Homeless

I Met This Ivy League Chick When I Was Homeless

So i’m a homeless sixteen year-old runaway that had just escaped from Hidden Lake Academy and was now spare changing with my homegirl, Flower, on the streets of Providence Rhode Island when I looked up from my Indian-print blanket, which I was sitting on while burning...

Karma’s A Bitch

He was wearing three hoodies and two pairs of pants with his hood over his face holding a shopping bag. I couldn't see his face in the dark. We were outside the Flatiron Mall in Broomfield Colorado. I was 18. He told me to "Put the money on the ground" So I put twelve...

Burning Man.

Burning Man.

We were fucked. It had been a wonderful experience.  For three hours.  Until my transmission blew out in Kingman Arizona and we tried watching video tutorials on how to fix a transmission on YouTube. Turns out rebuilding a transmission ain't so easy....

The LAPD Helicopters Chased My Uhaul

The LAPD Helicopters Chased My Uhaul

It was 7pm. We were in all black. Tegan, Curtis and myself. I wanted to wear my mustard pants but Tegan wouldn't let me. So we were in all black. We rented a 14ft U-Haul. Then my buddy Mark showed up in his 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS and the guerrilla don't get us...

The Art Of The Overnight Deal

The Art Of The Overnight Deal

My flight takes off in one hour. I get in a cab in Brooklyn, sit in remarkable traffic, get to the airport and race from the backseat of my taxi to the security checkpoint… There’s twenty-three grand duct-taped to my balls. Beads of sweat soak my inner soul as I stare...

Almost Dying In The Grand Canyon

Almost Dying In The Grand Canyon

I showed up to the Grand Canyon with Kevin, a timid kid in his early twenties from Tennessee that I had met at a hostel in Santa Fe, this annoying nineteen year old know-it-all Dutch kid and some girl from Germany that Kevin had met at the new hostel he was now...