WELCOME TO LOCKED UP

I kept getting locked up.  But not for too long… wait.  What am I saying?  I spent two years locked up in Georgia.  Anyway- I’ve been to like a million small jails in a billion tiny towns and I’m probably the only drug dealer that NEVER went to jail for dealing drugs BUT DID go to jail for speeding.  Yeah… this is all in my book, but here… Indulge yourself for a moment and live in my life.  I’m willing to bet you can relate somewhere along the lines in these stories.

The Secret to Backpacking Trips

The Secret to Backpacking Trips

The hardest part about backpacking trips are pulling the trigger. I was at a diner in Manhattan with my friend Tyler once. We couldn’t afford anything on the menu. We were in the Turtle Bay section of the city. We ordered something menial to not look like bums....

How to Plan a Road Trip Without Planning Shit

How to Plan a Road Trip Without Planning Shit

How to plan a road trip has nothing to do with where you’re going. In early spring of 2014, I had no idea where to go, but I had to leave LA fast. I couldn’t take it anymore; I needed outta California. I couldn’t relapse, no. That’s not an option. No drink for me. It...

Best Road Trips in the USA

Best Road Trips in the USA

Yeah, so I do have the Guinness World Record for longest road trip in the US, which in itself has given me enough to write a blog about on the best road trips in the USA, but even before I broke the world record road trip, I’d grown up on the road and spent many...

Camping Hacks for 9 to 5ers

Camping Hacks for 9 to 5ers

When I was sixteen I was sent to a wilderness program in Utah where I was told to learn how to survive in the woods with nothing other than a knife. Dig your own latrine, whittle the wood needed for a bow drill set, create an ember with that bow drill set, use the...

Travel Hacks for Aspiring Nomads

Travel Hacks for Aspiring Nomads

When I was fourteen in my first rehab in Minnesota with nothing other than a piece of paper and my imagination, I began dreaming of freedom. By the time I reached my second rehab in Louisiana when I was fifteen, I had immaculate plans to run away and be liberated once...

What’s a Hostel? Let’s Find Out…

What’s a Hostel? Let’s Find Out…

My First Time Staying in a Hostel I had always wanted to experience a hostel. What's a hostel really like? Are they grimy? Creepy? Normal? Dirty? Clean? Amazing? I had no idea, but I had to find out. And afterwards, staying in hostels became a way of life for me. But...

How to Stop Smoking Weed

How to Stop Smoking Weed

I stopped smoking weed and drinking and doing coke and all that shit about nine years ago, but that’s cause I was a degenerate drug addicted fuckhole and sought serious help. But it dawned on me that not everyone that is searching for a weed substitute and looking for...

(2016) I Hate My Boss So I Think I’ll Kill Him

(2016) I Hate My Boss So I Think I’ll Kill Him

It was 2016. I was thinkin... I hate my boss. He really is a piece of shit. He was this interior designer agent, a real scumbag. I’ll do one more day then ask for more money so he’ll fire me. No way this dipshit can keep affording to give me raises. I already asked...

How to Get Promoted at Work ASAP

How to Get Promoted at Work ASAP

I wasn’t thinkin about how to get promoted on the day I’m about to tell you about. I was sitting in my cubicle not doin my work, plannin my escape. See I was only there cause my clients had dried up and I wasn’t sure what to do. I had never had a real job before. I...

Feeling lonely in a relationship with so many people

Feeling lonely in a relationship with so many people

She was with me when I got my wisdom teeth pulled and drove me back to her apartment. She loves me. She would never do this if she didn’t. Then she cooked us pancakes at her apartment while my mouth was full of cotton and I recorded it on my phone before it was cool...

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