I met a chick at a bus station that treated me like shit and nearly ruined my trip to Patagonia, so I had to learn how to get over her. She was like crack. Only thing is I never had her… I had to navigate through the muddy waters of learning how to get over someone you never had, and that kicked my ego in the balls, but also woke me up. It all started in Calafate, Argentina…

I got to the bus station and sat down on the sidewalk waitin for the bus to El Chalten to arrive when I look over and see some black chick, or maybe she was like, I dunno, yeah I think she was black… whatever hot is what she was. I see her with all her sketch pads and pens and papers out and everything is unorganized, like she couldn’t find the blue marker and got frustrated and emptied out her entire backpack to spite the moment.

I sat within talking distance of her when some random dude walked by and tried hitting on her. The bus was late and I listened in on their conversation. Nobody was around. I heard her say she was from New York.

You’re from New York?

She switched to English.

Yeah! Well, kinda. I’ve never been there but I’m going there and everyone tells me I’d love it.

I was in love. What a dumb answer. 

So where are you from?

I’m from Texas.

So you’re not from New York.


Lol… This girl… I had to know more.

We start chatting and end up sitting next to each other on the bus. We talk about travel flings and sex we’ve had. The conversation gets lustful real quick, but only about other people, not between her and I. It was weird. Like, she told me how she wanted to fuck this guy and that guy and how she’s a hopeful romantic and I was sayin the same shit but never once did we say:

Hey! You and I should have meaningful love-making!

That’d be a weird thing to say, but you know what I mean, right? I don’t know. Maybe you don’t.

Point is, the whole time I was with this girl I felt like I was chasing after her. Like I was gonna lose her, but I never had her. 

We agreed to stay at the same hostel but then she bounced and I looked around all over for her. She came back by chance and basically forgot we ever even made plans. I was heartbroken. I had to stop the madness of being in love with this gypsy chick, she’s gonna destroy me. How to get over someone you can’t have means I gotta recognize that it’s even true. But maybe it isn’t. Maybe I can have her. Gotta just try a bit harder. So why does she keep wandering off and seem so at ease with potentially losing me? Maybe I just haven’t put myself out there.

Either You Put Yourself Out There or Learn How to Get Over Someone You Can’t Have

man checking in at a hostel

So I asked her if she wanted to go on hike and she made me come meet her on the other side of town. El Chalten isn’t that big, but still. It was like she was putting obstacles in front of her to keep me away. I HAD TO GET CLOSER.

We went hiking and when we got to the lake at the top of the hike, I asked her if she wanted to go skinny dipping. This, I thought, was the way. We both got in our underwear but nothing ever happened. It was total rubbish. 

How do I get this chick to wanna fuck me? No, stop it. Just leave her. You can’t have everyone you want. But why is she so available but not available to me? Fuck this chick. Maybe she’s too young. Yeah, she’s no good anyway, she’s too young. Get over her. Hmm… How to get over someone you never had, does that even make sense? How to get over someone you can’t have is more like it, but maybe… Ugh. My head hurts.

We part ways in El Chalten and she didn’t give a fuck. I spent the whole bus ride to Bariloche thinking of her. I sent her WhatsApp messages like a loser. Until one day in Mendoza she sends me a text:

Where are you?

Yes. Finally.

I’m in Mendoza.

I’m coming to meet you! Which hostel are you at?

So I tell her. I wait for her arrival. She shows up with some new girl she met and proceeds to tell about the amazing Israeli guy she met on her way up there. Like she was excited to share the news with me. It was a punch to the balls.

Even worse…

She tells me he’s coming to that very same hostel. So now I gotta watch this Israeli fuck this hot black chick from Texas that claims she’s from New York right in front of me. My head was twacked. I tried to forget about her but I couldn’t. I gotta say that when she told me she had to leave Mendoza before he was gonna arrive, I was actually happy. Good. Leave.

Then the next day I was on the hammock in the back of the hostel. The hot black chick was gone. People are doing coke at the dinner table behind me, and some guy gets on the hammock next to me. We start chatting. He’s pretty cool. He tells me about the army and shit. Then I realize it’s him: The Israeli guy. So I text the black chick that I am hangin out with her lover.

Then me and the Israeli dude go to these hot springs an hour or so away the next day and I take photos and send them to her, like I GOT HIM AND YOU DIDN’T BITCH. Not that I’m tryin to fuck this dude, I’m just sayin it was my way to regain power. But she didn’t care that much.

Nothing I did was working on this girl.

How to Get Over Someone Who Ghosted You (Basically)

To make matters worse, months later when I was in Brooklyn, back in New York, I met a friend at a cafe to do some work and get who’s sittin right goddam next to me? THE BLACK CHICK! She finally ended up in New York I guess.

So the fucking text messages start up again, right as I was gettin over this girl I never had to begin with. This girl basically ghosted me, even though we weren’t together. She travel-ghosted me, and that’s even worse. Figuring out how to get over someone that ghosted you that you were never actually with to begin with is a tough emotional hurdle to hop.

Finally I wrote a blog post about her, not this one, but this one, and I send her a message that says somethin along the lines of:

I just wrote about you.

And I sent her the link to the post that basically declared my lust for her. She replied enthusiastically and started askin me questions like:

Ohh… so you like my ass, huh? 

Weird shit like that. Okay fine I don’t remember exactly what she said, but she was into it. That’s how to get over someone that ghosted you: write a blog post about her ass! Yes! It worked! Time to make this shit happen. But I never saw her again. I met a girl, she met a guy, and on our lives went. So the moral of the story is don’t get hung up on someone that is just fucking with your brain. IT’S A GODDAM TERRIBLE IDEA that should be avoided at all costs! Just jerk the fuck off and delete the fuckin number and NOW I’M ALL THINKIN ABOUT THIS GIRL AGAIN! She was so hot. Fuck. Hmmm…

I wonder where she is? Maybe I’ll text her and see how she’s doing.

Second thought, maybe I’ll tell you about my fiance

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