WELCOME TO STORIES FROM MY DIARY

Ever overshare about an ex-girlfriend and then realize that she is gonna read the post you just wrote and know it’s her but now it’s too late to delete it cause you just posted it on Facebook and never thought she’d actually be following your blog close enough to click on that link that says “Ex-Girlfriend” cause you’re not even really friends but then you realize you’re a fuckin idiot and of course she read it and then she comments on it and calls herself out and you feel all weird an shit for a day?  Well… that’s why I call this section my ‘diary’.  This is the only section that is NOT in my book, so enjoy my personal life.

Big Chuck

Big Chuck

I was repping this musician chick that fuckin sucked a while back. Why? Cause her dad, Big Chuck, was rich and he talked me into it with money. One day I say let’s do a big party and make her famous Big Chuck. He says whattaya have in mind. I say gimme like 100k and...

One Day In The Life of NOT Becoming Famous on Social Media

One Day In The Life of NOT Becoming Famous on Social Media

One day, I was on my way to my friend Shannon's surprise 30th bday party in downtown LA... ...but before I got there, I walked into this cafe to grab a coffee. That's when I saw this girl with her sketchpad out. She had this sketch of James Dean in front of her--I...

Jailbait Gypsy

Jailbait Gypsy

So I go to the bourgeois pig, that's my spot, to write my book, or edit it, rather, for the fifth time so that I can finally fucking finish this shit that I've been working on for five years... and so I walk into the cafe and say hi to the barista dude that's my...

Tinder, Part II

Okay... So remember that Asian chick I was talkin about?  In Tinder Part I?  The girl that showed up to my apartment looking way better than her pics lookin slutty as hell and literally wanted to just go down on me pretty immediately after walking through the door...

Tinder

Tinder

Look I'm on Tinder. It's a good pastime. I have striking conversations every now and then. I've only ever went out with one chick from it- wait. Two. I lied. And she was- shit. Three. I went out with Three. Two of em were ehhhh but one of them.. She was this Asian...

The Day I Gave Ryan Gosling My Autograph

The Day I Gave Ryan Gosling My Autograph

So Ryan Gosling is sitting next to me at the Dresden, a 1950’s styled piano bar in LA, with a group of friends enjoying some cocktails and famous conversation. Some chick walks up to his table, mid-adjective, and stands there hovering over he and his friend, who seem...

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