So I took this personality test yesterday, and it says I’d be a great farmer or park ranger…
It says I’m logically retarded.
It says that I would be a great actor, writer, journalist, graphic designer, web designer, psychologist, speech pathologist, interpreter, scientist, MINISTER and a great fuckin farmer and park ranger.
Wanna know something funny?
I’ve always wanted to be a farmer.
HOW THE FUCK DID PERSONALITYMAX KNOW THAT SHIT?!?!?!
Know something else?
My mom always wanted me to be a park ranger. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO BE A PARK RANGER MOM!?
Wanna know another thing?
It says that I should for SURE not be involved in public relations.
Wanna know what I do for a living?
Okay, so let’s back up for JUST one moment… Here’s why I was taking a personality test…
I was researching people that love the book The Alchemist on Twitter for reasons unknown to me, and this one dude’s Twitter bio had a link to his personality test results. So I clicked it, and after an hour of reading through this guy’s head–I knew ALL about him.
Well… I’ll be damned.
I wanna know my shit too!
So I paid $37 bux for it while at Solar De Cahuenga… my fav cafe in Hollywood, and took the 214 question test on my iPhone, even though my laptop was in my bag… I guess I got impatient. Is that in my test results, I wonder?
So I read through the forty-page PDF of all my results then got home and thought
That motherfucking test is SPOT ON.
No way does this test know me like that. Maybe I didn’t put enough time into it, and it got lucky. I’ll take it again, I already paid, why the fuck not? So I went back to the website.
Wait. I have to pay AGAIN!?! I was head-torn.
So I did it. I spent another 37 bux to get the SAME exact test results. Then I told my roommate Carla that she HAD to take it so we could compare results and talk about it together.
“It’s only 37 bux! just TAKE IT!” I screamed at her.
“IT SAYS IT’S FREE!”
What? Free? So I ran into her room. “Lemme see that shit.”
Turns out there’s a free 72 question test that I must have missed. So she takes it for FREE… But I say
“Carla. It’s not gonna be accurate. you needa take the 214 question one!”
So after she finished the free one and ignored me altogether, she got a prompt email response that said:
TAKE YOUR FULL TEST FOR A DISCOUNT OF ONLY 29 bux!
So I paid for TWO of the SAME tests to give me the SAME test results, when I coulda done it for free? Only to learn that I should stop what I’m doing in life, move to Utah and become a park ranger?
Whatever, I guess the point is… I spent 72 bux to learn I should quit my job and become a farmer.
So you know what I did?