So I took this personality test yesterday, and it says I’d be a great farmer or park ranger…

It says I’m logically retarded.

It says that I would be a great actor, writer, journalist, graphic designer, web designer, psychologist, speech pathologist, interpreter, scientist, MINISTER and a great fuckin farmer and park ranger.

Wanna know something funny?

I’ve always wanted to be a farmer.

HOW THE FUCK DID PERSONALITYMAX KNOW THAT SHIT?!?!?!

Know something else?

My mom always wanted me to be a park ranger. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO BE A PARK RANGER MOM!?

Wanna know another thing?

It says that I should for SURE not be involved in public relations.

Wanna know what I do for a living?

PUBLIC RELATIONS!

Okay, so let’s back up for JUST one moment… Here’s why I was taking a personality test…

I was researching people that love the book The Alchemist on Twitter for reasons unknown to me, and this one dude’s Twitter bio had a link to his personality test results.  So I clicked it, and after an hour of reading through this guy’s head–I knew ALL about him.

Well… I’ll be damned.

I wanna know my shit too!

So I paid $37 bux for it while at Solar De Cahuenga… my fav cafe in Hollywood, and took the 214 question test on my iPhone, even though my laptop was in my bag… I guess I got impatient.  Is that in my test results, I wonder?

So I read through the forty-page PDF of all my results then got home and thought

SHIT.

That motherfucking test is SPOT ON.

No way.

No way does this test know me like that.  Maybe I didn’t put enough time into it, and it got lucky.  I’ll take it again, I already paid, why the fuck not?  So I went back to the website.

Wait.  I have to pay AGAIN!?!  I was head-torn.

FINE!!!

So I did it.  I spent another 37 bux to get the SAME exact test results.  Then I told my roommate Carla that she HAD to take it so we could compare results and talk about it together.

“It’s only 37 bux! just TAKE IT!”  I screamed at her.

“IT SAYS IT’S FREE!”

What?  Free?  So I ran into her room.  “Lemme see that shit.”

Turns out there’s a free 72 question test that I must have missed.  So she takes it for FREE…  But I say

“Carla. It’s not gonna be accurate. you needa take the 214 question one!”

So after she finished the free one and ignored me altogether, she got a prompt email response that said:

TAKE YOUR FULL TEST FOR A DISCOUNT OF ONLY 29 bux!

Whhhaaaa?

So I paid for TWO of the SAME tests to give me the SAME test results, when I coulda done it for free?  Only to learn that I should stop what I’m doing in life, move to Utah and become a park ranger?

Whatever, I guess the point is… I spent 72 bux to learn I should quit my job and become a farmer.

So you know what I did?

I did THIS!

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