I had no idea what to do or where to leave my bag or if any of my belongings were safe in the room so at 10am or so I opened the door slowly, backpack on back, looked both ways before crossing the hallway to make sure that British sounding drunk dude that nearly pummeled my face in five hours earlier that I told you about was nowhere to be seen, and skeptically walked into what is referred to as ‘the party room’.
There was a Brazilian dude and some hot non-Brazilian chick. She coulda been anything, but Rico Suave looked like he was about to start nibbling her ear before breakfast.
I interrupted anyway.
I needed to make friends.
What are you two doing today? I’m greg.
So uhh… I almost got my ass kicked last night.
What? Says Rico Suave. In a fight?
Nah, some British angry dude woke me up cause I was in his bed at like 5am and flipped his shit.
So what are you two doin today? Are you from Spain?
And you? I asked the girl.
I’m from ___________ (cause I don’t remember where the fuck she was from.)
I’m from NY.
So what are you two doin?
Ehhhh I theenk we go to the Whale Watching, no?
And Rico suave looks at his prey. She nods.
Ehhhh you want come with us?
So I spent the day whale watching, cock blocking and somewhere along the way I met an Irish girl, named Maggie.
I fell in love with her in about ten minutes and made plans to visit her in New Zealand, where she was planning to relocate.
By the end of the day, not only did I have friends galore, but I had told everyone about last night and the British dude.
A door opens.
It’s like 6pm.
A man walks up the stairs, to where we are all congregating on a living room type sofa.
Ey me fahkin hayd! It’s fahked!
IT WAS YOU!
And I point him.
YOU WOKE ME UP AT 5AM AND FLIPPED OUT AND SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME! IT WAS YOU!
oh that’s right (remembering through a blizzy blur), eye’z sorry bout that mate. I was fahked last night.
And he extends his Aussie arm… Yeah, he’s not British, he’s Australian. He extends his Aussie arm and we shake on it.
Three weeks later we were best buds, but I told him,
Man, Ima get you back for that one.
And I did.
[button_2 align=”center” href=”http://scrambledgregs.com/snippets/revenge-is-a-dish-of-carrots/”]PART 3: Revenge Is A Dish Of Carrots[/button_2]