I Cheated on My Girlfriend in the Worst Possible Way…
KC was in the bathroom taking a shower and I quietly turned the computer on. I start going through all the millions of Lisa Andersens on MySpace while my heart is thumping. I’m not doing anything wrong, it’s perfectly okay for me to look for a girl I went to rehab with years ago that I’d love to reconnect with. It’s not like I’m cheating on my girlfriend. I couldn’t even cheat if I wanted to. But then she ended up in my bedroom all the way from Louisiana a few weeks later. I never had that intention, but I fucked up, and fucked up bad. I cheated on my girlfriend and it led to a life of chaos. Everything turned into a nightmare. Here’s what happened…
Lisa didn’t respond to my first friend request, or whatever you called it on MySpace back then, and I had to wait till she declined my invite before I could friend her again. She kept saying no. KC was always in the shower when I’d check to see if she said yes yet. I just wanted to see what she looked like. I always wanted to fuck her in rehab, but back then I was fourteen and she was like seventeen… It woulda never worked. But now… hmmm… How old was I? I was like twenty, which means she was like twenty-three. Whatever it’s not important, I can’t even get her to say yes on fuckin MySpace.
But then one day I got a message that said: Did you go to New Beginnings in Opelousas?
YES YES! IT’S ME!
OMFG CALL ME! She wrote, then left her number.
Hey babe, I’m gonna go for a walk, cool? I tell KC before I shoot outside to call this girl as fast as my fingers would dial.
Wait, why would I lie to her and tell her I’m goin for a walk? I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just talking to an old friend. But I knew that was horse shit. I was calling the girl I’d been fantasizing about since I was a kid. Of course I’m gonna call her. How could I not call her?
She picks up: GRAIG!!!!
Before long the conversation drifted from ‘what are you doing’ to ‘what have you been doing.’ That’s when she told me she used to work at Hooters.
Hooters? You got bigger tits now? I asked.
Hold ohn! Okay, Chickit! Yer phone!
I look at my phone and it’s her beautiful fake tits, and a very aggressive pic of them at that…
Lisa don’t send me shit like that I got a girlfriend! Kinda.
Kinda? Whattaya mean kinda Greg? You’ve been living together for four fucking years. You absolutely have a girlfriend. TELL HER THAT. No. Don’t. You just did.
Oh goll-lley Graig I’m only kiddin!
“Fuck… They’re so nice.” And before long I was complimenting her tits.
She told me she wanted to see me and that some guy was always offering to fly her to New York at the casino. She told me she’d just let him fly her out. No harm in that, right? So we secretly communicated for weeks until one day I told KC that I was gonna spend the night at V’s place in Harlem. She said sure. I went up there from Queens and could barely sleep I was so excited. At 10AM I got the call from Lisa:
The guy that flew her to New York was gone. She fucked this guy just to see me. How romantic.
Wait, Should I Cheat on My Girlfriend?
I don’t have to think about that yet. Anyway, I floored it to her hotel room at the Bryant Park Hotel and she is everything I’ve ever wanted in life. I push her back onto the elevator to go to her room and kiss her and squeeze her tits. Then they kicked us out cause it was checkout.
Then it hit me: I cheated on my girlfriend of four years. I had to. No more. Wait, just this one time or else I’ll regret it forever. Fuck. I already did cheat on her though. Now I may as well just go all the way. I may as well fuck her brains out. I have to. Now I have to.
She tells me she wants a martini and it’s mad early in the morning which is a good sign cause that means things are going in the right direction. KC is at work. She’s the bartender at Houston’s restaurant in Long Island. I’ve already accepted in my head that I’m still a good person. I’ve already told myself that cheating once doesn’t make me a bad boyfriend. I’m already believing my lies.
We get a tremendous amount of attention as we walk to the only bar in Manhattan that’ll serve alcohol before 11AM. This is probably the hottest girl I’ve ever seen. She looks like a porn star. This is my chance to live out my fantasy. We both drink two martinis and I tell her I’ll get her a ride to the airport, but when we get in the cab I give the cab driver the address of my apartment.
Lisa starts undoing my pants in the back of the cab. I tell her to be quiet.
I’ma suck yer dick, she tells me in a loud southern whisper so that the cabbie hears everything she says.
Fuck. What do I do? This is really cheating. Before I wasn’t cheating that much, but this is bad. This is bad. Just let her do it. You already cheated anyway. Before I could think she was blowing me all over the backseat makin crazy sounds. Okay it’s done. Just enjoy it. Now just enjoy it. You already fucked up. But it’s just this one girl. It’ll never happen again.
We get to my apartment and I bring her to my bedroom. There’s a framed photograph and me and KC and it’s right in front of me, so I turn the picture frame around. She blows me again and I cum again. She gets in a cab to fly back to Louisiana and I sit in my living room thinking about all the successful years I just destroyed.
I Cheated on My Girlfriend, How Do I Fix It?
I text KC that I love her then I text Lisa that I want her to come back. Holy shit. Okay, sexual cheating is okay but an affair is bad. Just let it be, and then it’s not so bad. If you tell her you want to see her again then you’re having an emotional connection and that is cheating. What you did isn’t cheating that bad, it was just a blow job from a girl you’ve fantasized about since you were a kid. Of course you did that. Any guy woulda done that. Did you see what she looked like? How could you turn that down? You can’t. Of course you can’t.
But then we ended up seeing each other five or six more times. I would fly to Louisiana for a couple days then back and tell KC I was at Duane’s house the whole time. This was getting bad.
She’s probably doing the same shit to me. What a fuckin bitch. I wonder who she’s cheating on me with? That made me mad.
Then one day after rehearsal the cocktail waitress at the bar Duane and I were drinking at starts flirting with me so Duane gives her my number.
Why the fuck did you do that dude? I’ve got a girlfriend.
And I’ve got a wife, he tells me.
At least I’m not married like Duane. I’m better than him. No. I’m a total piece of shit.
We go out drinking all of us and the cocktail waitress–her name is De’Enna–she tells me she lives in Forest Hills. So do I. It’s a sign. We split a cab back to Queens because it turns out she lives one block away from me.
She puts her head on my shoulder and spreads her legs a bit. Our eyes don’t meet so it’s not that bad. Yes it is. This is bad. Her head is on my shoulder. Is this bad? It is. Yes. But I cheated on my girlfriend already with Lisa, so I may as well do it again. No. Don’t. She spreads her legs more and I put my hand on her thigh. Why would you do that? You have a problem. You’re not in love with your girlfriend and you’re too scared to tell her. That’s not true. I am in love with her. Yes I am. I love her. I just need to have sex with this girl. That’s it. It doesn’t mean I don’t love her.
You did it again. I can’t believe you. You’re a total piece of garbage. You may as well go back to her apartment now and have sex cause you’re a total asshole. So I did. I fucked her then walked home playing out my life in my head. This was so much better when we were honest with each other. I’ve ruined everything. She’s definitely going to cheat on me now. I deserve it. Karma will fuck me.
The Cheater’s Aftermath
Slowly I started distancing myself from KC because I couldn’t stop thinkin about everything I’d done wrong. That made her start distancing herself from me. I noticed she took her phone into the bathroom with her now. She never used to do that before. That’s what I do and it’s cause I don’t want Lisa to send me pics of her tits and KC to see it. I don’t want De’Enna to text me to come over and blow my cover. Did I hide the preview of the text thingy on my phone? I better do that now. Did KC do that too? She must be doing the same shit.
Everything came crashing down when I accused her of fucking everyone she worked with and she told me she slept with Ashley.
I jerked off immediately.
Then I ask her questions that would hurt me. I don’t know why I did those things, but I kept doin them up until I was like 32 years old. In some weird way it turned me on. I always had this deep infatuation with watching someone I love have sex with someone else. But that’s not the point. the point is I asked her how the sex was, if it felt good. I asked her if she enjoyed it and made her tell me she was with other people. She told me she also fucked a guy named Craig. I knew that though because one time she left her phone out and I checked her voicemail.
Life was getting really bad. Jeez when will this end? Was his dick big? Was it bigger than mine? Did it feel good? Where did you fuck him. Tell me. TELL ME. I just need to know. In my car? YOU FUCKED HIM IN MY CAR!?
Then a fight broke out. Then it stopped. Then we fucked. Then came the last night on New Year’s Eve when we went to her office party and I saw her showing her brand-new fake tits to her co-workers. I made a huge scene. This had to all end.
When it did I called Lisa. I called De’Enna. I called every girl that might make me feel better, but nothing did. That was why I started drinking so much. I couldn’t bear the pain. But you started it. I know. Did I? What if she cheated first? Who cares, your life is a mess.
Why I Cheated on My Girlfriend of Four Years
Maybe I cheated on my girlfriend because it was the only way I could get outa that damn relationship I got myself in when I was only a kid. I mean, we met at reform school and then ran away together at sixteen and had never known any other way to live than with each other… So, now that I had grown up and my sexual urges were stronger it had just gotten too hard to keep my life in line. And I definitely didn’t have the guts to actually tell her all this. I had big plans for a big future as a young and brilliant actor and I wanted to live like a movie star. I can’t do it. This just won’t work. Girlfriends mess everything up. But it’s not my fault, I mean, I got into this relationship way too early. I’m not old enough to settle down. I’m supposed to be famous and sleep with random chicks till I’m old and bald.
I don’t know… I suppose there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with other women, but there’s something very wrong with hurting someone so bad it derails both of our lives for years to come, that much I now know. But at the time I had no idea what to make of all these emotions. The question I asked myself over and over was: should I cheat on my girlfriend and live the life I want to live, or should I stay with my girlfriend and protect the relationship I worked so hard to build. In the end, I wanted to live free more than I wanted to live safe.
The moral of the story is there’s nothing worse than feeling like I got into a commitment I can’t get myself out of, so now if I’m gonna commit to something I really think that shit through. At 35 I’ve finally realized commitments are meant to keep me safe against emotional rollercoasters and not be destroyed by them… And it’s a whole lot better to not commit than to commit only 99%. And if I’m no longer committed, it’s better to bring that shit up right away than to let the lies build up into a ball of regret that fucks my life up for years to come.
Want something a bit less heavy? Here’s a tale about a threesome.