BAD DATING ADVICE & CRAZY-ASS RELATIONSHIPS

Here are some crazy stories about some crazy-ass relationships that you may, or may not be able to relate to.  Some of the stories paint me as the biggest piece of shit in the world, but I’m actually a hero.  At the end of the day, they’re just fucked up relationships full of terrible dating advice, most of them are from my book…  Anyway, enjoy the lunacy.

Feeling lonely in a relationship with so many people

Feeling lonely in a relationship with so many people

She was with me when I got my wisdom teeth pulled and drove me back to her apartment. She loves me. She would never do this if she didn’t. Then she cooked us pancakes at her apartment while my mouth was full of cotton and I recorded it on my phone before it was cool...

Body Language Attraction Alert

Body Language Attraction Alert

I was watching reruns of America’s Next Top model this weekend and looking at all the models and hating on some and loving on others, but realized they are good at one thing: body language. They pose in this way that drips attraction. At first I didn’t see it, I...

Building Healthy Relationships With Cracked Cement

Building Healthy Relationships With Cracked Cement

Building Healthy Relationships Was Never Something I Coulda Envisioned... Not in a million fuckin years. Especially my parents that I’d been estranged from at such a young age, but building healthy relationships got progressively worse as I got older. By the time I...

The Story About Why I Cheated on My Girlfriend

The Story About Why I Cheated on My Girlfriend

I Cheated on My Girlfriend in the Worst Possible Way… KC was in the bathroom taking a shower and I quietly turned the computer on. I start going through all the millions of Lisa Andersens on MySpace while my heart is thumping. I’m not doing anything wrong, it’s...

Chemistry in Relationships

Chemistry in Relationships

Finding Chemistry in Relationships When I first met my fiance on this sober rafting trip by the Delaware river and she was wearing these leggings with Koolaid-like red hair, I was certain she was just my type: trashy and sober. But after a few dates I realized she...

Should We Break Up?

Should We Break Up?

You Know those Relationship Extremes? Should we break up then? NO! Okay should we get married? That’s how most of our conversations went. From breaking up to marriage. Either I wanna spend the rest of my life with this woman or we should break up and never see each...

Forgive But Don’t Forget

Forgive But Don’t Forget

I Never Liked Those Relationship Slogans Like: "Forgive but Don't Forget."  Wtf does that even mean? I love her. Why would I not forget about it? If I took that advice with my last girlfriend, I'd have to disown my feelings every other week. The big fight we...

When Chicks Used To Ask Me “Why Am I Still Single?”

When Chicks Used To Ask Me “Why Am I Still Single?”

Who Me? I’d be like, wait. What? Why am I still single? You have the nerve to ask me that? Why are YOU still single, huh? That used to come up in every Tinder exchange or Bumble thread I had. Those goddamn dating apps really make it hard to tell the truth, right?...

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