Scrambled Gregs: Funny Short Stories About Life
I write about my life. Some people like that shit. My question to you… Do you ever get REALLY fuckin bored? Great news. I made a welcome kit thingy for ya. It’ll soothe your soul.
Most Recent Posts
These are the most recent posts, but you may wanna scroll a bit further down to view all the genres. Sometimes I go on a binge about how to do shit and only write about that for a month, then other times I only write about sex or illegal activities. Sometimes I write about being sober. I write about all sortsa shit so the point of this blurb is to let you know that while the most recent posts are the most recent, they in no way reflect what this site has to offer. This site is a mish-mash of enormous proportions. So, pick and choose as you will…
She Shoved Her Finger In My Ass & Gave Me A Bloody Nose
So what brings you to New York? I wanna be a stripper. I look her up and down… not really cut out for the gig… but I don’t wanna spoil her enthusiasm... Oh yeah? Yeah they have some open calls tomorrow so I’m gonna go. She looks around my small studio apartment....
One Day In The Life Of A Drug Dealer (well, pot)
At 9am I’m writing a screenplay about this girl named robyn smith who witnessed a murder as a child then found out her boyfriend was the gay lover of the sheriff’s son, the sheriff’s son she swore had committed the murder she witnessed as a child in Lake Charles...
ENFP Personality Story: They Told Me I Was A Farmer
So I took this personality test yesterday, and it says I’d be a great farmer or park ranger... It says I’m logically retarded. It says that I would be a great actor, writer, journalist, graphic designer, web designer, psychologist, speech pathologist, interpreter,...
Why I Never Married Lizzie Olsen
I had one more chance. It was final scene day, the last day of school at Atlantic Acting Conservatory. It was a full house and the heat was on. Lizzie performed a scene from Stop Kiss. I performed Zoo Story and was still in my nerdy J-Crew sweater I wore for the...
The Day I Gave Ryan Gosling My Autograph
So Ryan Gosling is sitting next to me at the Dresden, a 1950’s styled piano bar in LA, with a group of friends enjoying some cocktails and famous conversation. Some chick walks up to his table, mid-adjective, and stands there hovering over he and his friend, who seem...
One VERY Twisted Situation
Well when winter was coming and it was gettin cold. Lucy and I were done... I had to figure something out cause the girl I was living on the street with, her name was Flower, she got all strung out on heroin and started prostituting herself out all over the state and...
CHAPTER TWO: Overnight Success
I was standing in the parking lot where all the buses picked us up after school one day. It was the beginning of the school year in eighth grade and my social status was the same, if not worse. I was the loser sidekick to the two other losers that were slightly less...
CHAPTER THREE: Stardom
Here it was, stardom, popularity, fame, power. I considered myself lucky to have known the darkness so well before tasting the light. It was a new day, a Friday, the most wonderful Friday I had ever met. Pre-Olivia life was already a distant memory,...
CHAPTER FOUR: They Found Out I Was A Jew
From the day I showed up to the humid, bug-filled air of Opelousas, Louisiana for rehab number two, the ‘Jew’ jokes had flown across the room like a volleyball. Nobody knew I was Jewish and I was determined to keep it that way. I celebrated my fifteenth birthday at...
CHAPTER FIVE: The Night We Broke Out
A shotgun was fired. Sarah and I leapt off the guys lawn from behind the bushes and ran onto the street. “Hurry the fuck up!” She was already out of breath and who knows how many rounds that guy was gonna fire. Sirens could be heard all around. We dove into a ditch on...
The Drifter Chronicles
This is my three-volume memoir about my fucked up life and how I managed to salvage my future. Rated R. Completely profane. Limited plot. Reader beware. Only buy if you can stomach a sad tale told with teenage angst and a tinge of dark humor.
Buy Vol. 1 on Amazon…
Buy Vol. 2 on Amazon…
Buy Vol. 3 on Amazon…
Blog Posts & Short Stories
I write about all sortsa shit: travel, sex, insecurity, public humiliation, childhood trauma, illegal shit I’ve done in the past, getting sober, and interesting encounters with inspiring (or damaging) people in unlikely circumstances. You can choose your own adventure below by genre.
Dirty Sex Stories
I love sex and I love writing about it. Some of the sexual experiences I’ve had were totally inappropriate, while others were absolutely called for. Sometimes I’m a dick, sometimes I get dicked (not literally). Anyway, if you’re horny and want something to rev your ovaries, check out some of these stories…
Crazy-Ass Relationships
Moving on to some crazy-ass relationships… many of these stories are incredibly twisted. I would go so far as to say there’s some pretty fucked up shit in this category… but nevertheless, sometimes unhealthy relationships form and ya just gotta eat ’em up. If you wanna read some raw shit, feast up.
Fucked Up Shit
Yo some shit is just really fucked up, and there’s no other way to describe these stories than simply being about: fucked up shit. So, if you wanna read some disturbing tales of my youth, early adolescence, and even a couple things I did yesterday, just read on…
Being Homeless
Yeah so I was a sixteen-year-old homeless hippie vagabond fuck when I was younger and that’s where a lot of foundation was laid… So, if you wanna know what it’s like digging through the trash to get a Whopper on 9/11 when you’re an (ex)vegetarian beatnik, these stories are for you…
Travel
Did I mention I have the Guinness World Record for longest road trip? That’s a humble-not-so-humble brag. Yeah, but before I was a world-famous roadtripper I was hitchhiking the country, hopping Greyhound buses, and squatting at hostels all over. Here are some crazy travel stories for ya…
Illegal Activities
So uhh… Yeah, I mean, I’m totally legit now… but there was a time when no rules were followed and I had to do what was necessary. Whatever. It was fun I guess, till it got seriously bad…
Life Questions
I know what you’re thinking. You wanna know the meaning of life. Well, that’s good, cause I’ve come up with an answer for you… The meaning of life is to massage the souls of as many strangers as possible. Thus, this section of blog posts, made to massage your soul, today.
Vagabonding
Wanna know how to vagabond the world and sleep with strangers in hostel bathrooms while still making sure you visit old town Toledo before you leave Spain? Well, that’s what this section is all about: how to vagabond (not travel), how to experience (not vacation).
PREMIUM SHIT
Some posts are for everyone, and some posts are for the hungry-as-fuck. If you’d like to go a bit deeper and read shit that’s not just entertaining, but might actually change your mood, give you some insight, or help you feel less alone, this is where you belong.
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How It All Started
This blog is based off of many fucked up experiences, some pretty, some not so nice. But if you wanna know how it all started, try reading Chapter Zero below…