Scrambled Gregs: Funny Short Stories About Life
I write about my life. Some people like that shit. My question to you… Do you ever get REALLY fuckin bored? Great news. I made a welcome kit thingy for ya. It’ll soothe your soul.
Most Recent Posts
These are the most recent posts, but you may wanna scroll a bit further down to view all the genres. Sometimes I go on a binge about how to do shit and only write about that for a month, then other times I only write about sex or illegal activities. Sometimes I write about being sober. I write about all sortsa shit so the point of this blurb is to let you know that while the most recent posts are the most recent, they in no way reflect what this site has to offer. This site is a mish-mash of enormous proportions. So, pick and choose as you will…
Ex-Girlfriend
Aright so I'm goin to the Bourgeois Pig in a minute to meet my ex-girlfriend and even tho it was like eight years ago that we dated it still is nevertheless my ex-girlfriend. And I gotta say... I still really wanna fuck her. And I'm not going into this teatime...
RUNAWAY TEEN, PART I
Flower picked up. GREGGY!!!!! I couldn’t believe my ears. FLOWER!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? WHERE’D YOU GO?!?! I’m so sorry Greggy they made me leave and I went to Switzerland and then I ran away with Kiki and then we got tickets to come back here and I’m...
Today I Was Bored So
So I just photoshopped my latest parking ticket and rearranged some of the letters and numbers to make it an official unofficial "How Do You Like YOUR Scrambled Gregs" parking ticket and I'm currently at Staples on Sunset and Wilcox after I ordered a hundred pages,...
PROSTITUTE
FLOWER'S STORY PART 2: THE MOST COVETED ESCORT IN RHODE ISLAND It had been weeks since I'd seen Flower. I was living with Lucy, the ivy-league chick that went to Brown University that thought I was turning nineteen when in fact I was turning seventeen-- that story is...
I Fell In Love With A Stripper In Reno But Ended Up In Jail In El Paso
Yes Mom, I Fell in Love With A Stripper Here's a short and twisted story about how I fell in love with a stripper in Reno. I was 25 years old and had to forget about what just happened. I called up my friend Ryan and asked him if he knew how to use a camera. "A...
Runaway Teen Part III – The Girl With Dreadie Hair
READ PART I READ PART II The bus pulled onto a dark street at midnight, but Flower was NOWHERE to be seen. The Greyhound station was closed. I sat on a deserted street in downtown Providence. No clue what to do. I had nowhere to sleep, I had no direction, I...
Little Room For Error – Runaway Teen Part II
I had to get 23 bucks for the bus ticket to providence I was tellin you about yesterday. CUT TO Dinner table. Hey mom? Marks wants to take me to Benihana tomorrow for a late lunch after he gets off work before my visitation is over. Is it cool if I...
Revenge Is A Dish Of Carrots
So the Aussie who nearly killed me in my sleep from part one of this story, he tells me one day that if you eat twelve carrots you get a disease called Carotitus (or some shit) and you turn orange. I told him that was the dumbest thing I ever heard. He told me he knew...
I Just REALLY Wanna Go Down On You
So I'm at some really posh pool party at a joint called Skybar at the Mondrian hotel in West Hollywood and my buddy Eric Sharp is DJing and the crowd is a collection of the most sexually frustrating outfitted human beings on earth. I'm sitting down on the wooden...
It Was YOU!
I had no idea what to do or where to leave my bag or if any of my belongings were safe in the room so at 10am or so I opened the door slowly, backpack on back, looked both ways before crossing the hallway to make sure that British sounding drunk dude that nearly...
The Drifter Chronicles
This is my three-volume memoir about my fucked up life and how I managed to salvage my future. Rated R. Completely profane. Limited plot. Reader beware. Only buy if you can stomach a sad tale told with teenage angst and a tinge of dark humor.
Buy Vol. 1 on Amazon…
Buy Vol. 2 on Amazon…
Buy Vol. 3 on Amazon…
Blog Posts & Short Stories
I write about all sortsa shit: travel, sex, insecurity, public humiliation, childhood trauma, illegal shit I’ve done in the past, getting sober, and interesting encounters with inspiring (or damaging) people in unlikely circumstances. You can choose your own adventure below by genre.
Dirty Sex Stories
I love sex and I love writing about it. Some of the sexual experiences I’ve had were totally inappropriate, while others were absolutely called for. Sometimes I’m a dick, sometimes I get dicked (not literally). Anyway, if you’re horny and want something to rev your ovaries, check out some of these stories…
Crazy-Ass Relationships
Moving on to some crazy-ass relationships… many of these stories are incredibly twisted. I would go so far as to say there’s some pretty fucked up shit in this category… but nevertheless, sometimes unhealthy relationships form and ya just gotta eat ’em up. If you wanna read some raw shit, feast up.
Fucked Up Shit
Yo some shit is just really fucked up, and there’s no other way to describe these stories than simply being about: fucked up shit. So, if you wanna read some disturbing tales of my youth, early adolescence, and even a couple things I did yesterday, just read on…
Being Homeless
Yeah so I was a sixteen-year-old homeless hippie vagabond fuck when I was younger and that’s where a lot of foundation was laid… So, if you wanna know what it’s like digging through the trash to get a Whopper on 9/11 when you’re an (ex)vegetarian beatnik, these stories are for you…
Travel
Did I mention I have the Guinness World Record for longest road trip? That’s a humble-not-so-humble brag. Yeah, but before I was a world-famous roadtripper I was hitchhiking the country, hopping Greyhound buses, and squatting at hostels all over. Here are some crazy travel stories for ya…
Illegal Activities
So uhh… Yeah, I mean, I’m totally legit now… but there was a time when no rules were followed and I had to do what was necessary. Whatever. It was fun I guess, till it got seriously bad…
Life Questions
I know what you’re thinking. You wanna know the meaning of life. Well, that’s good, cause I’ve come up with an answer for you… The meaning of life is to massage the souls of as many strangers as possible. Thus, this section of blog posts, made to massage your soul, today.
Vagabonding
Wanna know how to vagabond the world and sleep with strangers in hostel bathrooms while still making sure you visit old town Toledo before you leave Spain? Well, that’s what this section is all about: how to vagabond (not travel), how to experience (not vacation).
PREMIUM SHIT
Some posts are for everyone, and some posts are for the hungry-as-fuck. If you’d like to go a bit deeper and read shit that’s not just entertaining, but might actually change your mood, give you some insight, or help you feel less alone, this is where you belong.
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How It All Started
This blog is based off of many fucked up experiences, some pretty, some not so nice. But if you wanna know how it all started, try reading Chapter Zero below…